How to deal with a break up?
By: Pulkit Sharma

Dealing with a break up is very tricky. Grief is a very strong emotional reaction that occurs after a break up. Grief reaction often lasts from a few days to few months and generally heals on its own. The person suffering from grief experiences different kinds of emotions such as sadness, anger, helplessness, hopelessness, shock and numbness. Getting over a break up is a long process. There are no shortcuts or quick remedies to deal with grief symptoms. A person who had been so special cannot be forgotten overnight.However, by keeping in mind the following points you can emerge from the grief and become stronger over a period of time:

. Do not run away from pain:The most common mistake that people make is to run away or distract from the pain that they are experiencing. This only gives a temporary relief and makes the grief worse in the long run. It is extremely important to get in touch with your feelings post break up, understand them and express them. Writing a dairy or confiding in a close and trustworthy friend is often very helpful. The more you express the better you will feel.

. Support:Do not feel shy in seeking support from others. Being in the company of friends, family, hobby group or a religious group that you find comfortable can help. When people suffering from grief stay in company of others their feelings of loneliness and hopelessness lessen and this helps in recovery. They feel that people care for and love them and that they can depend on others.

. Meaning:Going through a break up can make life appear purposeless and aimless. In order to heal it is necessary to find meaning in something. Once a person rediscovers focus,he/sheis able to structure life around it. Therefore involve yourself in any activity which you find meaningful, whether its work, a hobby, social service, sports or spiritual practice.

. Go with the flow:While many people may pressurize you to move on quickly, you need not follow them. Different people grieve in different ways, cope with break up in different ways and their grief has a different frequency and intensity. What worked for one person may not work for another person. Therefore when you are in grief do not follow other experts blindly but be your own expert.

. Psychological help:However, if you feel extremely depressed and suicidal and cannot cope despite various attempts consider consulting a psychologist. In some cases, grief can lead to intense depression and anxiety which needs psychotherapeutic intervention. In such cases, there should be no delay in seeking grief counselling otherwise the condition can worsen.

Pulkit Sharma is Clinical Psychologist & Spiritual Therapist in private practice at Pondicherry (Puducherry), near Auroville. Email:- info@thepsychologistindia.com